“With or without you…” we sometimes say. If the person in front of us stays in our lives, it’s a problem, if he leaves our lives, it’s another problem… The famous philosopher we will talk about in today’s article. Arthur SchopenhauerHedgehog Dilemma, one of the important metaphors of ‘s, will explain the degree of intimacy in people’s relationships and the misuse of personal spaces with hedgehog behavior. Sounds interesting, right?

Family, friends or loved one… Relationships that can be a huge challenge to create and manage human relationships. The excessive proximity built on a not very solid foundation, especially with deprivation, restlessness and rudeness, brings with it crackling sounds. Arthur Schopenhauer explains this equation we talked about with the hedgehog dilemma. about hedgehogs It allows us to better see the approach and distance behavior of people in relationships.

Human relations through the hedgehog metaphor

Hedgehogs huddle together to raise their body temperatures in cold weather. The warmth and comfort that this hug brings prevents the two hedgehogs from realizing that they are actually hurting each other with their arrows. Of course, this situation does not last long, after a certain time hedgehogs; They start to feel uncomfortable with each other. The dilemma, in this example; hear the cold air to hardship† desire to mingleThe arrows that cause the healing power expected from human relationships and the discomfort of hedgehogs are the limit of man. He likens it to his overbearing, obnoxious behavior.

After being separated from each other by arrows, the hedgehogs, who this time had to contend with the cold, prefer the discomfort of arrows to succumb to the cold and come closer again. Hedgehogs, who had the same problems in this overture, drift away again, eventually setting up the next overture in a different way, eliminating this dilemma and inconvenience: hedgehogs, distant They approach each other in a way that prevents both the cold and the behavior from harming each other.

What does this metaphor say?

We can say that Arthur Schopenhauer paints a picture of the unhealthy situation in human relations with the hedgehog dilemma. People, even if their intentions are goodThey tend to hurt other people they hug because of loneliness and restlessness. From this point of view, we can think that human relations will always lead to harm at some point; but it isn’t. As in the metaphor, distant intimacy can be the savior of human relationships.

Unsurprisingly, the first step to achieving this distant intimacy is: of etiquette† out of courtesy and out of tolerance pass. If you just get caught up in the gaps in your inner world and the negative emotions you experience and hug another with the tension they create; its end results in a departure and a return to the starting point. If you keep your distance, respect personal space, and treat your relationship with kindness while creating intimacy, both parties will benefit and a healthy relationship will develop.

Arthur Schopenhauer and the Hedgehog Dilemma

by Arthur Schopenhauer 1851published in ‘‘Parrga and Paralipomena: Short Philosophical Essays’ from his work chapter 396Schopenhauer expresses the famous hedgehog dilemma as follows:

“On a cold winter morning, many porcupines came very close together to avoid frostbite. Soon they noticed their arrows and left. When it got cold, they came close again. When the arrows disturbed them, they went away again. The dilemma they lived in, torn between the freezing cold and the pain of sinking arrows, continued until the distance between them reached a point where they could endure both pains. It is the emptiness and monotony of their inner world that brings people together. The opposite characteristics and the mistakes they cannot tolerate drive them away from each other. Finally, they meet at the common point where they can coexist, determined by courtesy and manners.”

Freud also has studies on the hedgehog dilemma

Although the Hedgehog dilemma seems to be integrated with Schopenhauer, the founder of psychoanalysis is one of the most important names in psychology. Sigmund Freudthis duality of 1900He is known to credit the source. The fact that he had to go, even though he didn’t like the US: “I’m going to the US to see a wild hedgehog and have some lessons.” Expressing himself in these words, Freud deals with the same metaphorical points in the construction and continuation of human relationships and shares the same view with Schopenhauer.