We accumulate negative emotions by spending too much time arguing online. Rakuten Viber team in Ukraine, together with psychiatrist and psychotherapist Alina Shumak, especially 24 Channels analyzed the nature of conflicts in the network, understood why they are dangerous and how their impact can be reduced when the mood is tense.

Negativity can always be found on the Internet: in a dispute, we defend our position, vent our anger, dive into angry comments under a controversial post or material. Both active participation in the conflict and passive (when we limit ourselves to observation) consume a lot of resources and leave an unpleasant taste in the mouth. Even if we feel relieved at that moment, negativity can accumulate for a long time and cause mental balance to deteriorate.

The nature of conflicts in the network and why they are dangerous

Everyone has encountered a conflict on the network at least once: different opinions, needs and goals inevitably collide in communication.

In cases where we cannot maintain communication due to this difference of opinion, we try to revise and change the rules of our coexistence by discussing them,
– comments Alina Shumak.

When analyzing the goals of participation in the conflict, the following can be distinguished:

• sharing responsibility,
• Recognizing the truth of an idea
• rethinking ideas,
• transformation of worldview (own or interlocutors).

If, as a result of the conflict, we formed a compromise opinion or remained in our position without violating personal boundaries, this may not affect our emotional state. However, the transition from competitor to personality can shake our mental health.

The impact of constant arguments can go far beyond a bad mood.

If a person is constantly in a conflict environment and does not have the opportunity to protect himself or retreat to renew his strength, sooner or later he will begin to notice how this is reflected in the psyche. At first, these may be symptoms of anxiety, sudden mood swings, feelings of depression, or sleep problems. Alina Shumak notes that due to prolonged conflicts, various somatic symptoms may appear: increased pressure and heartbeat, feeling of suffocation, digestive or intestinal disorders, headache, etc.

Emotional exhaustion and conflicts

In cases of emotional exhaustion, people become more involved in arguments and even provoke conflicts.

• first reason – Intolerance resulting from decreased empathy. It requires serious strength for us to accept that our interlocutor’s views may differ from ours. When resources become scarce, it becomes much harder for us to allow something that poses at least a minimal threat to our comfort.
• second reason – extreme tension that manifests itself in a fight. The conflict that arises in the here and now does not always arise from a single disagreement, that is, the last disagreement. This can always be an “explosion” of all the previously accumulated negativity. And it manifests itself in a high emotional response, a fight or even a nervous breakdown. This is often called “indulging the anger.”

How to reduce the negative impact of conflicts?

Regardless of whether conflict turns into a constructive argument or argument, it is an energy-consuming phenomenon. Before participating in the discussion, the psychotherapist recommends answering two questions:

1. How could the theses expressed threaten my safety or the safety of my loved ones? Especially emotional.
2. How can I ensure my emotional safety now?

If you understand that the outcome of the conflict will directly affect your safety or well-being, it will be impossible to avoid the emergence of emotions.

If the discussion is more about experience, impressions, worldview or something else that does not affect security, try to protect yourself from unnecessary energy consumption,
– advises Alina Shumak.

Depending on what’s causing the conflict, you might also try finding a peaceful alternative: “Physical activity will be helpful to relieve your anger, especially if you are experiencing conflict. If you are angry, depressed, feel like you can easily be dragged into an argument, an “hour of silence” or a walk without the internet may help. In any case, try to analyze your situation before the dispute begins,” concludes Alina Shumak.

After all, the presence or absence of conflicts is not an indicator of the “health” of the relationship. Instead, it is our attitudes and behavior in a contradictory situation that are decisive.

“The extent to which we can communicate across differences of opinion and thought allows us to experience conflicts on a dramatic or moderate level. Understanding our own experiences and empathizing with the interlocutor(s) can be useful in order to truly extract something valuable from the conflict,” says Alina Shumak

How to reduce the negative impact of online conflicts?

Conflicts on the Internet occur almost as frequently as offline: Due to temporary displacement and martial law, millions of users communicate more online. Rakuten Viber team shared tips and useful features to help avoid conflicts in private communication:

1. Insulation. Remember that conflicts can be resolved without your participation, and only you can decide whether it is necessary to intervene in the dispute. Turn off notifications in the chat to avoid paying attention to the dispute and give yourself a chance to breathe. To do this: Press and hold on the chat for which you want to turn off notifications → tap Turn off notifications → select the duration in the chat for which you want to turn off notifications (one hour, 8 hours, one day, or forever).
2. Shifting the focus of attention. If all activity on Messenger becomes conflict for you (a bad day, a bad mood, stormy news with hundreds of conflicting opinions) turn your attention offline and turn off messenger notifications. To do this: Go to the Advanced tab → go to the Notifications menu → turn off all notifications. You can also turn off app notifications from your smartphone’s settings.
3. Suspension of communication. If a particular interlocutor constantly causes conflicts in the group chat, block him. To do this: open a group chat and go to the Information section → tap the person you want to block → tap More → select Block.