“I married the love of my life, thank you Tinder!” said Alexis Gutiérrez, 24, from Tacoma, United States.

Mobile Cupid was the app that created the iconic system of “swipe right” if you’re interested, or “swipe left” if you’re not, and believe it or not, it’s about to turn 10 years old.

According to German data site Statista, Tinder leads a thriving online dating app market with more than 1,500 similar apps a decade after it was designed and revenue estimated to reach $2.85 billion by 2022.

So how did this practice affect love, sex and relationships? Then, what will happen?

Let’s take a look at the evolution of online dating.

“First dating ad”

It is believed that one of the first dating advertisements to be published appeared in 1727.

It allegedly appeared in the Manchester Weekly Journal and was written by a British woman looking for someone to “share life with”.

But this is far from a love story.

Literary magazine Lapham Quarterly reported that Helen Morrison was punished for her advertisement and sent to a mental institution for four weeks by the mayor.

Almost three centuries later, more than 300 million people worldwide are believed to be using personal ads, dating apps, and technology in general in search of casual and romantic relationships.

Before dating apps existed, some people posted classified ads in what is commonly known as the lonely hearts column.

Today, the stigma of using dating apps no longer exists as it did ten years ago and has come a long way since Helen’s time.

“I found my husband on Tinder”

Alexis Gutierrez wasn’t feeling particularly upbeat when she “swiped right” on Tinder four years ago after seeing an interesting guy.

After “a week or two” of virtual chat, they decided to meet face to face.

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“She picked me up and I could tell she was very nervous. Fortunately I didn’t,” she recalls nine days after saying “yes” to the same man wearing a long white lace dress.

“I didn’t expect to find love or marriage because it’s true that most men, especially young adults, are just looking for casual encounters,” the newlywed told the BBC.

“People are more interested in how you look”

But not everyone is convinced.

“I’m not sure I have anything positive to say about Tinder,” says Amy Marie, a 30-year-old accountant in Texas, USA.

He adds that “numerous men” send rude or violent messages through the app.

It shows a screenshot of one of the messages a man sent him right after he said hello.

Definitely a love/hate relationship. [con la aplicación]. With more emphasis on hate, yes.

Chelsea Stirling, 35, from Nottingham, England, also had a frustrating experience with Tinder.

“People are more interested in how I look than what I think or what I say,” she says.

“I make a match and they start talking. Then they read my profile and they don’t match me,” she says. “Or they’re misfits before they even start talking.”

Harassment and unwanted images

The hatred that Amy Marie feels towards the app is not an isolated case. If you’re a woman, you’re more likely to have a bad experience with dating apps.

A 2020 study by the Pew Research Center showed how women are disproportionately harassed.

34.57% of women aged 18-34 said that they received obscene messages or images that they did not request.

A high rate of physical threats was also reported: 19% (compared to 9% of men).

Marie Bergstrom, a sociologist and researcher at the French Institute for Demographic Studies (INED) in Paris, studies what she calls “privatization of dating” through apps like Tinder.

“These apps are very isolated in the sense that they are completely cut off from your social life. It differs from traditional settings where people meet through friends, family, work or school, where you actually share something with others, such as friends, colleagues or places,” says Bergstrom.

“To show your genitals in a bar is to show your genitals to everyone.”

But that’s not the case for a screen because you can easily get lost at the touch of a button. This “highly private and confidential” environment has become a dangerous area for violent behavior, the expert says, and this is unlikely to change in the future.

Tinder says keeping women safe is “at the heart” of the world’s largest dating app.

In July 2022, the tech company announced a partnership with the No More (“No More”) group, which aims to end domestic violence, but Renate Nyborg, the company’s first female CEO, acknowledged the challenges they faced when it comes to it. to protect women in practice.

He told the BBC at the time: “Our security job is never done.”

sexual freedom

But Bergstrom acknowledges that “less social control” can also have positive effects.

“Women are judged a lot more for their sexual behavior, and there’s still this social stigma of being very sexually active,” she says.

“What we’re really seeing is that digital dating platforms allow women to have short relationships and have casual relationships more easily, because you can do all this without being judged and without the whole world talking about you.

“So this disconnection is not only negative, it’s also largely why these apps are so popular.”

So what does this virtual dating future look like?

caresses and kisses in the metaverse

You’ve probably heard that in the future, your study meetings will take place in the metaverse: a virtual reality environment where your character can sit at the table and interact with your colleagues as if they were all in one.

This also applies to the future of dating apps.

«With virtual reality you can simulate kisses. You can simulate touching a body,” says Douglas Zytko, associate professor of human-computer interactions at Oakland University in the US.

“People who flirt online value this type of experience as part of compatibility,” she explains.

But it’s also risky.

“There is a strong possibility that the negative experience some people are currently experiencing will be amplified by VR because of the immersion it has achieved,” Zytko says.

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Imagine rejecting a romantic or sexual advance from someone on the dating app.

“In virtual reality, only the perpetrator does not have the opportunity to make a very negative comment. He can also use his character to do that.”

What does this mean in practice?

“They can touch someone else’s character in a negative way. Or draw phallic images in a virtual environment. And what much of this early research has shown is that such unwanted lovemaking experiences through virtual reality can have psychological effects that are very similar to what happens in the real world,” Zytko said.

Only some of the currently existing pieces of metadata – like Horizon Worlds – belong to Meta.

However, the company has taken new security measures.

An example is Personal Limit, which prevents characters from entering a certain distance and makes it easier to avoid unwanted interactions.

The company says it also offers several ways to block and report other users.

“We’ve seen trends come and go in recent years,” says Zytko. “So I think it’s too early to say whether the metaverse tenure will continue.”

Will GPS be less relevant?

One of the most attractive features of dating apps is the ability to meet someone who lives across the street from a restaurant, across the street, or in your neighborhood.

Some apps are already investigating this. Single Town, for example, is a dating app that consists of a metaverse city where real human characters “roam around, choosing where they want to go and who they want to chat with.”

If you tap on any of the characters, you can see real photos of that user, start a conversation, and interact in a virtual world.

“These types of apps offer a virtual date between meeting and physical dating.”

“These apps don’t assume you don’t want to see each other face-to-face, the goal seems to remain to support a face-to-face meeting or a personal relationship.”

Zytko thinks this can even reduce real-life bullying.

“By adding virtual reality to the mix, you can experience a first date online before you step into the real world where all these potential risks and harms exist.”

Did you forget to flirt at the bar?

As virtual reality opens up new possibilities for developers and the number of users grows rapidly, dating apps tend to establish themselves as the “safe place” to seek sex and love.

“My hypothesis is that dating platforms will become increasingly important when it comes to meeting partners,” says Bergstrom, who wrote the book “The New Laws of Love: Online Dating and the Privatization of Intimacy.”

«There has never been a specific site for meeting a couple. There is now, and it’s becoming less acceptable to approach it sexually and romantically in other kinds of contexts. Such is the case in workplaces. “It used to be a big dating site, and now it’s becoming less and less acceptable to be sexually intimate with co-workers.”

For the specialist, this can be extended to other contexts: «It would be less acceptable to approach someone in a bar and start flirting, or it would be less acceptable to start flirting at a friend’s party with the idea that there is a platform for that» .

“Like I said, it’s a hypothesis: We want to separate things more and less and less overlap. So there’s a place for work, a place for sports, a place to meet friends, and a place for dating.

“The segmentation of social life,” he says.