We’re going with a little battle that I’m excited to tell because it’s the first time something like this has happened to me, although it’s nothing new. And when I say that this is how “Microsoft” tried to scam me, that’s exactly what I mean. In case I catch you off guard: I mean “Microsoft”, not Microsoft. Now yes?

What I am about to tell you happened to me for the first time on Monday. I was picking my little one up for the first day of school when I got a call from an extra long number. AND the first warning sign which I ignored because although it was most likely some phone company giving the bag, sometimes sausages are also referred to doctors or other types of services.

So I pick it up and a guy who can barely articulate the right word in Spanish starts talking to me. He told me that Microsoft was calling me because they found problems with my computer. The second and final alarm. It took me five seconds to recognize the scam, but it was the first time this had happened to me and I decided to play around to see what it was all about.

Anyway, the guy told me he worked at Microsoft and that they had discovered some suspicious downloads on my computer and that’s why they contacted me: to help me fix a potential mess. But the conversation dragged on unbearably.

Between the guy’s poor level of Spanish and his insistence on following a script that was tighter than desirable, it was getting on my nerves. To top it all off, I was driving with my hands free and my son asking me to play music. At one point I interrupted the conversation and hung up: solving the mystery was not worth the nervous breakdown. Even so, I wanted to know the whole process of the scam because there are different types of scams.

If it looks like a scam… it is a scam

However, “I was lucky” and the next day they called me again, with same modus operandi: The guy who barely spoke gave me the same thing. Long story short, I got a call from Microsoft because they discovered a potentially harmful download on my computer and helped me fix everything. This time he caught me in front of the PC and with a fresh coffee, so I gave him a coba with the intention of making it to the end.

This particular scam works like this: you get a call with a barely intelligible note saying it’s from Microsoft saying they’ve discovered some weird downloads and offers to help you out. This hint basically consists of running what it tells you: “Windows key + R a… e for Spain, v for Valencia, e for Spain, n for Navarre…”. The dictation is as exasperating as it is obvious, so I asked him to speed it up. But not: the script is followed to the letter.

What the guy is spelling out is a command to launch the Windows Event Viewer, so the unsuspecting person will see the administrative event warning again and freak out. That’s why it’s essential that scammers don’t skip anything: first they try to convince you that you have a problem, and then they tell you what you need to do to solve it.

Do you see errors?

– I see them. Please tell me what I can do to fix this. i’m in your hands

– I will go to our colleague to solve the problem.

And it happens to me with his cousin, who makes me repeat the whole process… and I explode. Seriously, if someone is cheated, it’s lucky because they often lead. However, I was interested to know the next step that should tell me how to solve the problem.

– Do you have Chrome installed?

– Yes.

– Open Chrome and type in the search engine…

The circle has finally come full circle. The trick is that after you put fear into your body using the event viewer’s warning symbols, download a remote desktop application that allows them to control your system. By this time, quite tired of the conversation, I told her that I had everything I wanted, that I would not go on and that and thank you… However, the girl, with more and more impulse, insisted that we must finish what we had started.

When in doubt, call them for help

I wanted to hang up, she insisted… and finally I had enough and let out a “go cheat on your fucking mother” voice. He finished. The girl also exploded and started insulting me as much as she could. I hung up on him. He called me back to continue insulting me. hung up on me He called me back to continue insulting me… In the meantime I was recording everything, laughing and playing some too. I am weak.

And so it all ended. I tell it in detail because it’s still a battle, a story to spend time with. But it also serves as a reminder of that these things happen all the time. I don’t understand how they are able to scam anyone with such a talkative setup. I mean it from the bottom of my heart: if you have half a brain, you’ll get scammed immediately, and if you don’t or don’t understand anything about PCs… I think they’ll lose more money than they make, because no one in their right mind can put up with such a veneer.

Also, as I mentioned, this scam is not from now, which from what I’ve read there is also in the form of an email. Even Microsoft itself, the real one, warns against this. Now, in this case or any other, it is possible keep some basic things in mind:

• Microsoft will never, I mean NEVER, contact you to offer assistance.
• Microsoft will never, I mean NEVER, ask you to install third-party programs to fix the problem.
• Microsoft will never, I mean NEVER, ask you for personal information such as usernames or passwords.
• Not Microsoft, not Google, not Apple, not any other company.

Be careful: it’s another thing to call Microsoft, go to their forums, etc. But how does someone call you on the phone and tell you about problems with your computer? We are crazy?

To make matters worse, I’m changing Windows from grapes to pears. I use Linux. Not that it matters, but to add nuance to the story and that, now that you’ve read it, you can imagine my smile at such a pair of cyber shenanigans.