Sometimes, when life gets tough, we have an inevitable urge to get lost. The desire to leave everything behind, including the problems that keep us up at night, the wave of obstacles that do not allow us to achieve our goals. If you’re depressed, you may feel like you can’t do anything right, and it’s a common practice to fantasize about disappearing before it ruins your life even more. It’s so tempting: you don’t even have to explain anything to anyone, you don’t have to deal with your stupid boss or the dishes in the sink.

It’s not about going on vacation or dying, it’s about escaping overwhelming situations or future problems. If you have felt it, you are not alone.

I want to disappear (but not forever). This mood affects many people. This is a distortion of the idea that running away will solve all your problems, and it’s comforting for a moment to imagine that you have the option to run away from them. Being ashamed or mistaken also expresses an uncomfortable feeling of exposure that leads to wanting to disappear. And everything is accompanied by a physiological response that contributes to separation and behavioral withdrawal.

People who are unable to overcome this emotion often suffer from depression, anxiety, or other mental illness.

“I gave up everything and started a garden.” Who has not dreamed of disrupting the plans of a square and routine life? Who hasn’t longed for the simple life, whether it’s growing a garden or going to the beach to set up a beach bar? As SINEWS psychiatrist Orlanda Varela explains in this Traveler article, “Our routine has no place to activate the pleasure mode. All this suffocates us and pushes us into a rebellion: going back to the basics, to less artificial happiness, and deep down we’re trapped in unnecessary things.”

Why? Why? Various studies show that the human brain is designed to respond to stress in four basic ways: fight, freeze, flatter or flee. The fight response involves aggressively confronting perceived threats. Freezing uses stillness to avoid danger or renders people incapable of action against it. Flattery tries to please another person to avoid conflicts. And the flight response prompts you to flee from a threatening situation.

“The latter, escape fantasy, is the common mechanism that superficially alleviates some stress pressures,” clinical psychologist Therese Mascardo said in this other VICE article. This is running away is one of the ways people react when life gets tough. It’s something built into our survival instincts.

What actually happens? this feeling It is often an indication that something in someone’s life is not working properly and may require care and attention. People who say they want to disappear might actually be saying: I feel lonely and need love, I feel sad and need comfort, I’m embarrassed and need to know I’m normal, I’m tired and need rest, or I feel lost and need meaning. to live.

Answers. As many psychologists recommend, a good way to start is to make some space: in stressful situations, getting away and taking a distance for a while can help reduce the feeling of feeling overwhelmed and helpless. Also, rest: Although the routine does not allow for this, we must rest in order to improve. Naps, vacations, and unstructured time can lead to better long-term productivity.

Laughing, playing, and moving are the best antidotes: doing activities that involve us help relieve anxiety. The benefits of movement are not limited to weight loss, exercise or walking is good for reducing stress. And finally, another thing people can do when faced with the urge to disappear is to confront the problem directly. So, identify what makes you want to “disappear” and address it directly.